Source: dcleisurecentres.co.uk |
Here I express my big thoughts and tell you how working out at the gym has changed my ways and beginning to make my appearance and confidence better!
Here's a serious topic to talk about! Why do I go to the gym while I suffer Crohn's Disease and slight Aspergers Syndrome? The answers are simple, I wish to be recognised more, feel better about my body and feel good about myself despite the things I have to live with.
I've been thinking about this post for a while now, I'm explaining how I enjoy but also sometimes have my doubts about going to the gym due to socialism, trying to fight against my own body or seeing the progression in myself. Last week I had a fun Thursday evening after work catching up with my good friend, Lewis (Creator of Alt:Mag) and we went to see the new film "Divergent" which was pretty darn good! And are both writing up reviews pretty soon! Well he's already posted his up, as for me? I don't know when I will or if I will?!
Now let me start from the beginning. I actually began using the gym back in my College days where 2 very good friends Dan (an instructor and model) and David (another Aspergers mate and now instructor) helped teach me everything about working out during my time at Collyers and Rob was the man in charge of the gym and always there to look out for me. I enjoyed learning from them all and their company as they were always helpful and still are. They always reassured me and are good men to chat to as well.
After Collyers, I didn't get the chance to workout anymore because I started working everyday and lost track of getting a gym membership. Now I have been going to the gym in my town and ever since I think it was September 2013, I have not only made new friends and made progression with my body but I have also seen it for myself.
Source: dcleisurecentres.com (There's not many Gym pictures on Google Images!) |
Source: corbisimaging.com |
Source: dcleisurecentres.co.uk |
But I will admit that deep down I do have some doubts, sometimes I have a tough time there due to thinking how tough it really is for me to make new friends at social places (I feel better when I'm introduced by a friend to someone else normally) sometimes I can make the first move but it varies on how I am feeling right then, but with some people there that I wish to talk to like Girls and maybe even become friends with, it's unbelievably hard to pluck up the courage and say "Hello, I'm Josh" without blushing and worrying that I don't look my age and most of all feel unworthy. But my new friends and even Mark the Instructor have shown me it's not impossible and all it takes is that calm "Hello". I need to try this more and outside of the gym too!
Another troublesome fact that I can't get over is that because of my Crohns Disease, no matter what I eat especially Protein I end up losing within the day. So inevitably all the good stuff I need will undoubtably be lost (when I used to take Protein Shakes at Collyers, even those didn't help!)
Another thing that grinds my gears is the whole planning ahead routine I have to worry over before heading to the gym at all, like will I eat dinner quick enough and give myself 20-30 mins before heading there? Sometimes I eat late and by the time I get there in the end I only workout as much as possible (sometimes not my whole schedule), you have no idea how frustrating it is to not complete my whole workout before the gym closes. I also will admit that I don't know if it's from work or at the gym that I have gained the "Common Cold" and "Cough" many times, maybe it's from all the friendly handshakes and the fact people go to work/ workout no matter what! Oh well it can't be helped it might be one place or the other, I dunno!
I worry sometimes if this is all a lost cause or am I chasing a dream
that's out of my reach due to all these limitations holding me down? And
if I'll ever reach my goal/ status? But then I think back to the days
when I first picked up a Dumbell and remember how much I have changed
and how much weight I added to the machines and see how much I can lift
up now! (It's quite a lot, really!)
But I do know someone who actually had Crohns Disease a couple years ago I think and he knows Martial Arts and looks pretty strong and confident! Now if he can withstand Crohns and workout without a problem (besides coping with it) then surely I can too!!! And someday I'll end up with a body that I am proud of!
Being me isn't easy, I lack the patience and confidence to see that I am actually making progress (mentally and physically), it may not be rapid since I lose my Protein and the other categories of diet due to Crohns.
But I am proud of myself for sticking to it and I still believe that someday I will achieve my goal and feel good about everything. I even feel that way most of the time now especially when I pose in the mirror and see myself and all the detail and bulk I have developed so far. I wonder if I'm developing a vain ego? ha ha
So ever since January 2014, I have started thinking more positively and
remind myself that I am making progression, making friends and I
am getting stronger. It may take longer and I may not look as strong
physically but that doesn't mean I'm not but I can surprise people!
"Skin The Cat" (weird name, right?)
I've even achieved performing 2 hard exercises that involve stretching and using my own weight to perform it flawlessly. I was so chuffed when I performed "Skin The Cat" on 28th January and a "Muscle Up" on 9th April. I guess it's thanks to the inspiration and cheer I recieved from my friends and instructors. So if I can perform these 2 exercises, then who knows what else I can do with my body when I set my mind to it.
(By the way, this is me! Hello!!! I was going to upload pictures but thought best not to. Don't I look good? ha ha)
(By the way, this is me! Hello!!! I was going to upload pictures but thought best not to. Don't I look good? ha ha)
"Muscle Up"
Woop, nice one dude.
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